Ivy ~ Boyfriend for now

Relationships are not for me. They feel uncomfortable. I don’t know why I am not a person who doesn’t feel safe when a boy says I love you.

I didn’t feel this way during my first relationship. Safe I don’t know, but I did feel a sense of joy. With Lennart I don’t. It’s like I can’t believe his love for me.

It is to soon to talk about love. We only know each other for a few weeks. He is my boyfriend, for now. Until he knows better. Until his parents realize he’s better of with a girl that makes sense.

Not me. I am always a surprise. Too much, just like years ago. She doesn’t know. My mom doesn’t know that’s how I feel. Too much. Always.