Not perfect, just better

Today I was thinking about the unnatural feeling of balance. When we try to heal, we enter a stage that could be more healthy. However, the unfamiliarity can make this feeling uncomfortable. With the risk we can fall back in our previous unhealthy behaviors.

Since a couple of weeks I am trying to eat more healthy. Be more aware about my schedules and yoga exercises. I feel better in a way. For example, I do not have the stomach aches I had before. So it seems that my new food habits are better for my indigestion. Furthermore, it seems I am more balanced mentally. It’s not perfect, just better. I must admit that.

Unfortunately, the anxiety doesn’t go away, I can control it more. I am aware. At this moment, when I am writing this piece, I have a headache. A headache that’s there for like a month. I am used to it now. In the past, I quit doing the healthy stuff. With the idea, that it didn’t work anyhow. Now I want to continue what I am doing, because it can get me at a place that could be better for me. Whether it’s for work or personally, eating healthy and training focused, can contribute to a new and better lifestyle in the longer term.

Ladies like Layla and Jacky are also unfamiliar with positivity. Layla doesn’t know what to do now, when she has a great assignment ahead of her. She has the chance of a lifetime. Jacky has found the lover of her life. Both are afraid of the happiness in their lives. They accept it with all tears and pain, but they continue. They know this positivity can be a contribution for them for a lifetime.

So even though this good that is happening to you feels unnatural. It can be a good thing. It could be the reason to hold on to a better lifestyle, to take you to a better place. And if you can’t see that better place, just see where you are now. The good thing that is in front of you. It could be the reason to keep going, so this good thing can turn into something wonderful.

The only way

Even though my hatha yoga class went well, it doesn’t take away my anxiety. My heart is still racing when al kinds of negative thoughts are entering my mind. It feels disappointing, but I am a beginner. I always want too much too soon. I want to be like the advanced Yogi’s, but I am not there. It makes me sad. Thinking that I can’t. But I won’t give up. That’s not me. It will be a long road. With ups and downs, pausing moments. Someday I will get there, it’s the only way. With yoga on my mind ~ 🧘‍♀️ 💔~ #yoga #yogalifestyle #yogaposes #yogalife #yogapractice #yogainspiration #yogagirl #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #depression #anxiety #healing

Foto: by Verawaty

The other beauty

Today I joined a 3 hour yin yoga masterclass. A wonderful experience but also very confronting. It brought me back to the sadness and pain I try to hide everyday. I think it’s part of the healing process. I also noticed some beautiful moments, when I succeeded in relaxing after performing the pose. Other poses however confronted me with all the pain I was hiding. Now I am satisfied in joining this class, but now I should give myself time and space to accept the sad feelings that came to the surface. I guess that’s the beauty of yoga as well. 🧘‍♀️ 🌸~ #yoga #yinyoga #yogagirl #yogacommunity #sadness #pain

Foto: by Verawaty

Breathe and be strong

Breathing is one of the exercises of yoga. It sounds easy, but it’s not. The way of breathing is so much different than I was used to and in the beginning it gave me a sense of restlessness. When doing my final relaxation exercise, a feeling of panic sometimes came over me. So much I became afraid of it. Luckily I pulled through and it seems breathing becomes more controlled. At least I thought. It’s still a learning process, as my panic and anxiety attacks are not cured. Yoga will hopefully help me in controlling these states and feeling stronger in moments that I fear all these years ~ 🏹🌸~ #yoga #yogahealing #yogainspiration #yogagirl #yogalife #yogalifestyle #anxiety #panicattack