A new flow

I am happy to feel the yoga flow again. After a break from 6 months I finally feel the need for yoga exercises, inspiration and philosophy. Apparently it was to much for me but now I listen to what my body and mind ask from me. Next to yoga it’s also the need for other food, healthier. I was working on this last year, but somehow I couldn’t anymore. I was still aware of my food habits but not the way I was last year. This year it will be different and also because I want to. Not because I want to be like somebody else who live healthy, but I want to live healthy myself. That’s a difference and sometimes you need a break from all new you are learning to discover it’s really who and how you want to be. Let’s wait and see now how everything will enfold ~ 💚🌸💚~ #yoga #yogasoul #soul #soulful_moments #yogaandsoul #yogainspiration #yogainstagram

The career cocktail

Because of two young losses the last two weeks it was difficult for me to post anything regarding my work. It feels so selfish and unnecessary, but it’s my life. How I get through the days. So I will try again. But I will think of them. I am here, alive and I should keep going and growing. It starts with believing in what I do and love to do. It sounds like the perfect career-cocktail: love, believe, determination 💗🙏🏽~ and never forget the souls who inspired you ~ #believe #love #dermination #freelancer #freelance #businesswoman #business #womenempowerment #womentogether #poetry #inspiration #poem #poemsofinstagram #poetrycommunity #poetryisnotdead #quotes #inspirationalquotes

Ivy ~ Whispering sadness

There is a part of me that wants to show this part of anxiety so badly. There is part of me that is addicted to the mask of beauty. It’s the mask that kept me going, made people believe that I was worthy. Even though I felt pain inside.

Couple years ago I showed a little bit of my pain, then a lot and then, everything just slipped.

Now I am in a new home. With people who even adore me, but it’s the wrong part of me. Or not? For some reason they seem to look behind the mask. They carefully take it off and look what’s behind it.

They still think it’s beautiful. The pain is there, but silent. I am afraid what happens, when the voice of my pain becomes free, and people become aware of the loudness within me.

I see they love this silence, the whispering sadness. The adoration of my tears is what keeps me in his arms. So I stay, silent, whispering and full of love.

Not perfect, just better

Today I was thinking about the unnatural feeling of balance. When we try to heal, we enter a stage that could be more healthy. However, the unfamiliarity can make this feeling uncomfortable. With the risk we can fall back in our previous unhealthy behaviors.

Since a couple of weeks I am trying to eat more healthy. Be more aware about my schedules and yoga exercises. I feel better in a way. For example, I do not have the stomach aches I had before. So it seems that my new food habits are better for my indigestion. Furthermore, it seems I am more balanced mentally. It’s not perfect, just better. I must admit that.

Unfortunately, the anxiety doesn’t go away, I can control it more. I am aware. At this moment, when I am writing this piece, I have a headache. A headache that’s there for like a month. I am used to it now. In the past, I quit doing the healthy stuff. With the idea, that it didn’t work anyhow. Now I want to continue what I am doing, because it can get me at a place that could be better for me. Whether it’s for work or personally, eating healthy and training focused, can contribute to a new and better lifestyle in the longer term.

Ladies like Layla and Jacky are also unfamiliar with positivity. Layla doesn’t know what to do now, when she has a great assignment ahead of her. She has the chance of a lifetime. Jacky has found the lover of her life. Both are afraid of the happiness in their lives. They accept it with all tears and pain, but they continue. They know this positivity can be a contribution for them for a lifetime.

So even though this good that is happening to you feels unnatural. It can be a good thing. It could be the reason to hold on to a better lifestyle, to take you to a better place. And if you can’t see that better place, just see where you are now. The good thing that is in front of you. It could be the reason to keep going, so this good thing can turn into something wonderful.

Kind freedom

Kindness. It’s an act that can mean so much for a person. Thoughtfulness. Empathy. Three beautiful actions that can make our world better. Instead, there are people trying to break others. Just to feel better about themselves. With the use of hatred, disgust and disrespect. Even writing those words are hard for me, but it’s the sad truth.

In my life I have known a lot of anger in me. I felt angry and sad, thinking people didn’t get me. Thinking I didn’t belong, which I wanted so badly. Around the age of 16 I realized I didn’t want to belong. I learned to be happy by myself. The anger wasn’t gone, but the desire to belong disappeared. It gave me a sense of freedom.

Something I didn’t see with the people around me. They always belonged somewhere and became afraid of losing their place in their crowd.

I hoped that sense of freedom also freed me from the unkind actions of those persons, but it didn’t and it never will. At this moment I am determined to stay kind. However, I still need to find a way to cope with the actions of the unkind and hatred. I even wonder if I ever want to cope. Because certainly hatred isn’t something I want to give in to. Perhaps staying calm and kind is the best way to fight the evil. Even when the results aren’t what you were hoping for. You were you, kind and that’s all that matters in the end.